Discover NEW Triple Water Therapy... The Totally FREE Solution To All Life's Woes
The Sunday Best Round Up #37
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A Heavy Heart
Recently I've been feeling very sad.
The proverbial lump in my throat never far away.
Morning.
Day.
Night.
Life and it's peculiar shenanigans have been rough of late, the deets of which are too personal to share.
Save to say I'm in a period of life which is all about survival.
Thriving will need to wait for another month or 7.
A Moment of Hope (and Air Fryers)
But where there's life, there's hope… as the first early-Golem creature uttered in a dark cesspool at the dawn of civilisation.
And of course they were right.
We can now fry food in magical machines, using nothing but air.
What more could possibly have been hoped for at the beginning of time?
Anywayz… historical detour over… back to my current sadness which revealed itself recently in a poetic plethora of precipitating pulsations (because all the p’s).
A Triple Water Experience
I was swimming in the sea…
Rain pouring down …
With fat salty tears running down my cheeks.
The tears were a tad unexpected.
A bit awks really, but luckily the sea is not over populated on chilly March mornings, so my salty secret was safe (until now!)
Enter: The Inner Drill Instructor
Instinctively my inner Drill Instructor shouted at me:
“Stop all that cry baby non-sense.
Dive to the seabed and gimme 20 push ups BOY!
And don't even think about passing out and drowning, cos I'll drag you back to shore and make you do 30 more, you snivelling little bucket of pig juice”.
[Note #1 - I'm not sure that “snivelling buckets of pig juice” are an actual thing, but if not they should be…imho]
A Showdown with Myself
I tried breathing deep to stem the tears, and please my virtual instructor. It didn't work; my crying continued.
I replied to him thus:
“I'm awfully sorry Mr. Drill Instructor but I'm actually quite sad and it makes less sense to suppress the emotion.
In fact science tells us this is a very bad thing for our mental and physical health, so with all due respect I think I'll carry on having a little sea sob if that's Ok?”
Inner Drill Instructor was stony silent.
Being a bit sensitive I tried to break the tension:
“I'm wondering as a drill instructor whether you did in fact want to cut off ALL your hair, like the song in the Full Metal Jacket movie.
If not then maybe this is the cause of your inner rage sir.
Maybe change… grow your hair… be peak Gene Simmons with yummy flowing locks.
You may enjoy a happier life”.
Drill Sergeant looked nonplussed for a second, then a tiny tear formed in his eye:
“You're so right.
I've repressed that idea for too long.
I need to be free ‘n’ easy with a mane of wind-shakeable hair.
Thanks for the advice.
Maybe now I can finally be happy.
Sos for shouting at you”.
He clicked his fingers at the sea and a sparkly skinned dolphin broke the surface.
Drill Sergeant jumped on board and they swam off into the sunset, giving faint Barbie in Malibu, crossed with GI Joe, vibes.
Which was nice.
[Note #2 not all the events in this story are necessarily 101% accurate]
Saltwater Therapy
Anyway back to me and all the watery vibes.
It did feel pretty poignant tbh.
The cold water keeping me afloat in a wet sheen of calm.
The rain sploshing into delightful little circles on the ocean.
The tears releasing my pent up emotions back into the sea.
Some kind of ecosystem saltwater therapy happening.
£250 at your local wellness spa… free to the bald bloke buoyantly bobbing in the briny (‘cos all the b's).
A Small, Salty Reset
And then with my tiny tear-fest over I felt a little better.
I paddled back towards the shore and did an underwater handstand… ‘cos why not.
I was soon sat on the beach, safely ensconced in my Dryrobe, sipping ‘biscuit brew’ tea from a flask.
[Note #3 Biscuit brew tea is the 8th wonder of the world. It's a tea bag that when brewed elicits delicious tea that tastes like a biscuit has been dunked in it. Literally genius in a mug].
Yummy!
Final Thoughts
So to sum up this week's little tale…
If you're gonna cry do it in the sea ‘cos you're wet already and no one will see.
Except your inner Drill Sergeant.
But even that turns out to be a good thing as he can finally learn to live a hairy life of freedom and joy again.
Yup they're the life tips for today, take ‘em or leave ‘em.
(Of course your results may vary 😆).
Have a great Sunday,
JFT Beach
Note I shared on Substack this week:
Article I Wrote on Substack this Week:
ANTI - Wellbeing Secrets of an Exhausted Dad: Air Fryer Regrets, Cold Water Humiliation, and BAD News Binging - Just another tale of life as a cold swimmer and dad.
5 Health and Wellness Articles I Enjoyed on Substack This Week:
The Neuroscience of Fight, Flight, or Freeze to Feeling Safe - This is a nice short breakdown of fight/flight/freeze and how to get away from it. Helpful and practical for all of us in daily life, from
From Overthinking to Knowing: The Wisdom of the Heart - An ode to trust and getting away from “the stories of our mind” (love that phrase- so true so powerful). Give this a read as it's nicely written and very helpful if you're a bit prone to over thinking. Thanks
Here's a cool note from
where he graciously wrote like a 2nd essay to help me understand his points about the meaning of life and emptiness - as my brain was not big enough to compute 🤯What Would Happen If You Spoke to Yourself Like This? - I like this idea of reparenting. Being nice to yourself and nurturing yourself with kind words - not the normal toxic crap you may use to yourself (guilty as charged!) Give this a read it's good, from
What Might The Forest Say? - A thoughtful and fascinating piece which looks at different ‘beliefs’ from different cultures and how many of us are so entrenched in Western science based learning, which is just 1 approach. Read this, from
and jump out of your cognitive comfort zone.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s newsletter,
To Lazy Sunday Afternoons,
JFT Beach
PS I did a first ever audio version of my article last week - I’d LOVE your feedback if you have a spare seven minutes. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
PPS Thanks to the following for… well… following!
Yep this week the following lovely people have started following me on Substack thanks to all of you
It’s not easy to show vulnerability, but you managed to make it relatable, and honestly, kind of healing in its own way. Please know I monitor my chats like a hawk, even though I am not online all the time, I am around :)
I am REALLY good at shooting the shit.
I hope you’re able to find the calm you need, and if nothing else, I’m sure that ‘biscuit brew’ will bring some comfort in the meantime. Take care of yourself friend.
Loved reading this so much. Life has felt hard. I just released my book Courageous Compassion from survival to sovereignty. Yes, ever since I released it things have felt hard, I think I am releasing 50 years of my life experience on that book and it has created some grief. I appreciated you saying thriving is not possible right now and I found so much relief in that. And I can go swim in a salty ocean and there has been rain today and tears sound wonderful. Thank you for the arming about the drill Sargent and the great way you stumped that voice and let it be seen and felt. What a great article and needed in this moment.