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This winter was my 50th year upon this resolving rock of chaos. As part of my celebrations I went for a beach sauna and cold sea swim. With my brain and body so alive and buzzing afterwards (think Tigger on Red Bull) I sat in the café and started writing on my phone about what I’d learnt in the past 18250 odd days. And for funzies I’ve turned it into a 50 (kinda life tips) at 50 list which you see below:
1. Get cold - Hat tip to Win Hoff. I started cold water swimming 5 years ago. It's hands down the best thing I've ever done (for mental and physical health). No sea nearby? Cold showers good too. Even walking out in a t-shirt in winter builds your mental and physical health.
2. Everyone's struggling - When you remember this it's a easier to be compassionate and thoughtful. That 'loud annoying person' at work probably; still living childhood trauma of insignificance. The 'rude and grumpy' one... probably unhappy to their core. When borne in mind can make interactions easier.
3. The best medicine is exercise - Within reason of course. Press ups not going to cure cancer. But exercise, quite probably even more than healthy food, gives you the best chance of living longer and healthier. For example, research has shown that walking is perhaps THE most effective cure for back pain.
4. Track to build better habits - New eating plan? New exercise regime? New sleep approach? Track it for a week or two. Gives you a better view of what's happening. Also tracking makes you better at the habit (aka the scientific phenomena of the Hawthorne Effect).
5. Don't multitask - It's exhausting and you get nothing done well. Instead pick opposite tasks and alternate. Do a creative work piece then a more administrative one, then back to creative etc. Seems to suit the brain better.
6. Hug a tree - Lots of research shows being in nature lowers stress levels. The Japanese government have been advocating forest bathing (‘shinrin yoku’) since the 1980’s for it’s mental and physical health qualities.
7. HIIT me baby one more time - Do a High Intensity Interval Training session once a week. It improves VO2 Max which is a strong indicator for living longer and healthier.
8. Offer empathy not sympathy - Empathy "that must make you feel sad" Vs sympathy "never mind don't worry about it". One shows you care and respect, the other shows you want this awkward situation over. Just as important to do with adults as kids.
9. Be sensible with phones and web stuff - The internet is an amazing invention. Use it but don't let it use you. Stay away from excess time on Insta-spam, Fakebook and Ick Tok, otherwise they’ll suck you dry.
10. Ditto telly - Too much TV renders you half comatose. Watch something engaging then turn it off. Plus sitting down is the new smoking.
11. Get up and out EARLY - Exposure to outside light within 20 minutes of waking helps set your day and your night time sleeping pattern (hat tip Andrew Huberman).
12. Do kids’ stuff - Play games (I highly recommend Taco, Cat, Pizza). Climb walls. Jump in puddles. Stop being so adult, it's boring.
13. Make apologies sincere - Any apology that ends with ‘but’ as in “I am sorry but…” isn't a apology. Show genuine remorse and caring for the other person. An apology should not be used tactically.
14. Lift heavy stuff - We've always carried stuff in human history. Wood, dead animals, and water. It's what we’re supposed to do. So, lift weights. One great activity is to walk carrying a weighted backpack as it can burn 2-3 times as many calories as walking alone.
15. The last day on earth trick - Heard this on a Joe Rogan podcast and loved it. Basically, next time you're getting annoyed with your child - but I think probably spouse, friend or other significant person works well too. Imagine it's the last day you will ever have together... it will very quickly change your perspective on a situation for the better.
16. Binary beats - Whether you want concentration, energy, or chill out; binaural beats rock. Tldr it's music designed to mimic your brainwaves. You Tube is your friend to find this stuff.
17. Don't rely on others for your health - Be proactive with health check-ups, be curious about your health. Read sensible health advice, not the latest Ick Tok guru, then act on it.
(IMPORTANT - Not saying self-medicate or self-diagnose. Always consult a medical professional. But do so armed with your own knowledge and research).
18. Get hot - Saunas are mega. Proven benefits to health and wellness. Combine with cold for double whammy. No sauna? Work out in heavy layers or take hot baths.
19. Feel the fear and do it anyway - Someone should write a book with that title 😊 Try stuff that's a bit fear inducing. Trying and, hopefully, succeeding will give you big happy feelz.
20. You can't buy happiness for longer than a few seconds - Impulse buys make you feel good for a few dopamine filled seconds then... buyer’s remorse. Save purchases for 48 hours then re-evaluate (“hello Amazon wishlist”)
21. Stop being comfortable - See hot and cold above. But also move more outdoors in all weathers. Go camping. Sleep on the floor. Too much air con, central heating and car driving makes us weaker and less healthy.
22. Read often - Fiction and non-fiction. Fiction improves empathy because different pov (point of view to the uninitiated). Non-fiction gives you the skills and inspiration to do and be better.
23. Re-read good books, particularly non-fiction - You'll find way more the second time. Then find a podcast with the author talking about the book; get even more. Also get active when you read. Take notes. Highlight points. Rip out pages of importance.
24. Sleep 7.5-9 hours per night - Any more or less is likely to catch up with your health in a negative way. Recommended by sleep expert Matt Walker.
25. Stretch - Yoga, Pilates and all kinds of flexibility stretching is crucial when getting older. Especially to avoid the dangers of sitting (see above).
26. Be wary of media consumption – Sure be informed, but if you live your life by the news be prepared for a whole heap of second hand misery. Terrible stuff happens every day but a constant reminder isn’t a recipe for great mental health. Plus … who to really trust?
27. Take responsibility - Especially when things go wrong. Own your part. You're only human. We all make mistakes.
Ownership = honesty = a better chance to move on.
28. Go barefoot - Shoes weren't always a thang. Our feet have a crazy amounts of nerves and been our main contact with the world forever. We lose that with constant shoe-age. Go barefoot indoors or in your garden; helps balance and stability.
29. Do the Pomodoro - Work in 25 minutes chunks. Then take a 5 minute break. Do this for 4 rounds then take a 30 minute break. Then restart the 4 rounds until the next 30 minute break. It’s called the Pomodoro technique and gets you WAY more done.
30. Say thank you - Like an apology, a sincere and honest thank you is always a great gift to give someone. Spoken, texted or even a handwritten note (I know crazy concept right? 🙂)
31. Teachers - No not Mrs. Etherington from junior school who taught you the value of chickens (or something). But life teachers. Find them at work or in your personal life. In books, podcasts or through counselling/ coaching. Commit to lifelong learning; despite how goofy the concept may sound.
32. Find your own path - In sort of contradiction to the last point. Follow teachers for knowledge and inspiration but ultimately find your own path. Take what makes sense from others - use it, test it, keep what works, chuck the rest.
33. Talk banal crap to strangers - Most people want to connect. Offer that by chatting whatever works. Don't be afraid of rejection; it's rare and hardly ever about you.
(NOTE - Be context aware - not always appropriate to approach strangers!)
34. There are no logical decisions - Don't kid yourself. Even the most seemingly logical, well thought out decisions, are all based on emotion. Once you see this it's a bit easier to make decisions in life.
35. Embrace difference - Be it gender, sexuality, skin colour, neuro diversity, mental health, physical disability, country of origin. Whatever. We're all people. All trying to get along in this weird, one shot, chance we have called life. Give people a chance. Ask a question if you're not sure. Ask it respectfully. Get a better perspective. Be more human.
36. Do 'talking pace' cardio ... lots of it - Walking, cycling, jogging, whatever. At a speed where you can hold a conversation (just). One of THE best ways to ward off ill health and aging.
37. Don't sweat other people's opinions - Too much time and opportunity gets wasted worrying what others may think. Luckily *don't-give-a-damnability* improves with age.
38. Plan and visualise important stuff - Got a work meeting? Some negotiation to carry out? Need to teach your kids something? Think about it first. Visualise what you'll say. Counter any potential objections. Don't just wing it.
39. Learn new stuff - Learning new skills keeps the brain nimble and alert. Try languages, musical instruments, and new physical exercises.
(NOTE – Crosswords and word puzzles may not be as effective as learning new skills according to many scientists).
40. Help the environment - Do your recycling. Buy second hand. Make stuff last. The future of this planet doesn't look great, so we need to do better.
41. Don't fall over - This is aimed more at the second half of life. Research shows strong links with poor life outcomes and premature death when you have a fall as you age. Particularly if you end up in hospital. So do stairs, walking, lunges, yoga and any manners of things to strengthen legs and balance.
42. Take things lightly – Laughter and humour diffuses much. Research outlines physical and mental health benefits of laughter.
43. Get tribal - Find your group, tribe, community. Activities in common and social time is all good for the body, brain and soul.
44. Take care of your teeth - Proper teeth care is strongly linked to living longer and healthier. So, brush... brush... brush... floss... floss... floss.
45. The rubber band therapist - Want to change a negative thought pattern? Simplez. Put an elastic band on your wrist. Whenever you have those negative thoughts ping the band. Pretty soon your mind starts building up the connection not to do it anymore. Over time problem gets solved.
46. Take no added time exercise - There's tons of opportunities to exercise each day without needing to spend special time exercising, e.g. at a gym. Carry a basket in the supermarket instead of a trolley. Always take the stairs. Walk your lunch hour. Instead of food snacks take exercise snacks (press ups, squats, lunges).
47. Star gazing - Take a good, proper look at the stars at night. Not just spotting Orion's belt and all that jazz (remarkably cool that they are). Take in the stars and all that surrounds them. Their enormity. Their majesty. And how vast it all is, and how tiny and insignificant we are. Because... perspective.
48. Be more Seuss – If you’re ever looking for a little inspiration or joy in your life read a Dr. Seuss quote or two. The amazingly talented children’s book writer has so much to share. I think my favourite of all is
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
which neatly counteracts our primal fear of rejection in life perfectly. Google ‘Seuss quotes’ for more.
49. Chuck stuff out – Holding on to possessions we no longer need can be a one way journey to clutter, mess and negative energy. Take clothes. Having too many items you rarely, or never, wear takes up precious physical space. More than that the mental work you have to do every single time you open your wardrobe can be draining. Make a rule. If you’ve not worn them in the past 12 months - get rid. Give to a charity shop. Sell them on Vinted. The feeling of relief when you do is great (like the satisfaction of a good tip run after clearing your garden). Do the same for other possession you don’t use regularly. Shrinking your possessions gives you a bigger mental and physical space.
50. Start tomorrow… today – Plan for the day ahead. First thing in the morning we zombie stumble around with semi-working brains. Take the hard work out of it. Leave your breakfast stuff ready-made or at least laid out on the table. Have your work bag packed. Leave your gym gear ready by the front door. Because: NO excuses. As the old management cliché goes fail to prepare – prepare to fail (or at very least be late, grouchy and over run in the morning!)
51. Don't be afraid to break the rules - see what I just did there? 😊
Here’s to another 50 years (maybe)
JFT Beach
PS Got a great tip to add? Please share it in the Comments below…
These are the BEST life tips! I love them all and live most of them. Saving this issue! Psst... I'll be 50 in Nov1
Love this list! I look forward to reading more here.